A guide
Cyberstalking: the signs, staying safe, and getting help
For anyone who thinks someone is using their phone, accounts or devices to watch or control them, and for anyone helping a friend through it.
About 8 minutes to read. No sign-in needed.
01
What cyberstalking is
Cyberstalking is someone using technology, again and again, to harass, watch, frighten or control you. It is different from one unpleasant message. It is a pattern, and it is meant to make you feel watched or unable to get away.
- It's repeated: an ongoing pattern, not a single incident.
- It uses technology: messages, social media, location tracking, shared accounts or smart devices.
- It has a purpose: to harass, monitor, frighten or control you.
- It's a crime: not just unpleasant behaviour, and the police take it seriously.
The law where you are
In England and Wales, stalking and harassment are crimes under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997, and online stalking counts. Scotland and Northern Ireland have their own stalking laws.
02
The signs
It often builds slowly, which can make it hard to name. Trust the pattern, not just one moment.
- Contact you don't want: on more than one platform, even after you've blocked them.
- They know too much: where you've been, who you've spoken to, or what you've bought.
- Odd account activity: sign-in alerts, changed settings, or messages you didn't send.
- Feeling watched: even when you can't say exactly why.
- Pressure through your phone: constant check-ins, demands for a reply, or threats if you don't.
03
How technology gets used against you
Knowing the common methods makes them easier to spot and shut down.
- Location sharing: Find My on Apple devices, Snap Map, Google Maps location sharing and family safety apps.
- Shared accounts: accounts set up together, passwords they know, and subscriptions still linked to both of you.
- Stalkerware: hidden apps on a phone that send someone your messages, photos and location.
- Social media: fake or anonymous accounts following you, or friends of friends used to see your private posts.
- Smart home devices: cameras, video doorbells, smart speakers and heating controls someone else can still get into.
- Bluetooth trackers: small tags such as AirTags hidden in a bag, a car or among your things.
A quick check you can do
On an iPhone, Safety Check (Settings, then Privacy & Security) shows who you share your location and information with, and which devices are signed in to your Apple Account. On Android, open your Google Account, then Security, then Your devices. Do the same for your email and main social media accounts.
04
Protecting yourself
You don't have to do it all at once. Work through these in the order that feels safest for you.
- Location sharing: check Find My, Google Maps, Snapchat and any family safety app for people you didn't mean to share with.
- Account access: change the passwords on your email and main accounts, then sign out of every other device.
- Apps you don't recognise: look for anything with wide permissions that you don't remember installing.
- What others can see: tighten privacy settings, take location data off photos, and limit who can see your posts.
- The bigger picture: the free safety check shows which of your accounts and devices to start with.
05
If it's happening to you
If you recognise this pattern in your own life, you are not overreacting. Here's how to take the next step safely.
- Keep evidence first: screenshots, call logs, emails and voicemails, saved somewhere only you can get to. Do this before deleting anything.
- Write it down: dates, times and what happened. A notes file or a notebook is enough.
- Tell someone you trust: a friend, family member, your GP or a colleague. You don't have to carry this alone.
- Report it when you're ready: you don't need 'enough' evidence. Let the people trained to help decide.
Report to the police
Call 101 to report it, or 999 if you are in danger right now. You can ask the police about a Stalking Protection Order, which a court can make to stop someone contacting you.
06
Supporting someone else
If someone tells you they're being stalked or harassed, how you respond matters a great deal.
- Start gently: "You seem worried lately. Do you want to talk about it?"
- Believe them: don't ask "are you sure?", don't suggest they're overreacting, and don't blame them.
- Help practically: sit with them while they save evidence, go with them to the police, or help them change passwords.
- Know the warning signs: threats getting worse, mentions of where they are, or threats involving children or weapons mean their safety comes first.